Determination, very 1st time

my recent weight, 88KG, officially! am so proud of myself, everyone asking consultation from, lol! advice lah not consultation, hehehe!

in fact, there are some problem such as, i addicted to cafein for no reason, not no reason, but damn this bad habit, i did try to quit this bad habit, seem very hard and am still working on it, always tomorrow's business. shit.

use to consume cup of nescafe + kopi ais daily, now already worsen till 2 nescafe + 1 white coffee. thus, still couldnt quit this freaky habit, trying to get rid of it.

am so cheerful for weight lost, although the result aren't perfect, but at least satisfy. ok, back to this theme's main issue. i wanna be a hunk. at least 80percent look alike nakata's body, really freaking admire him = )

just check on the ideal weight-ing calculation, my ideal weight still 30kgs 18kg away, compare with last year PEAK time, erm, its about 28kgs away, who say its impossible ? i am posible!

do it now or do it later, do it now ,achieve now, do it later, achieve late or gone totally , so buck up, 3 more kgs to go before month end, ATB!

E very Thing

-work-

slow, damn the NPL, damn the BNM, damn the BLR, damn the DSR, damn all those asshole makin market slower

-life-

maintain, my weight only stay in between 88-90kg, how i am gonna go till 85kg this month end

-friend-

getting lesser, like my hair, new friend come and go, old friend come and go. sien

haha. stupid post = )

WISH LIST.

I AM BACK! it is time for self-evaluation = ))

chapter I life
my life, never stop challenging me everyday, to me, everyday is a brand new day, i will keep on learning = )
my life, never stop me from compare with my peers, everyday i heard good news from them, hope 1 day, my turn for the good headline from my side
my life, never stop give me chances for learning, and i do has a good platform for it,I truly grateful on it

chapter II achievement
achieve- on my job, didn't see any improvement, which mean, i still have tons of space of improvement
achieve- on me, hair getting lesser, weight drop too, thanks to my best buddy since form 1 (latest: 88.4kg)
achieve- on networking, erm, must put extra hard work in it*** ( must do!)

chapter III objectives
goal, i put s behind this title, because of , i have some real dreams to achieve, sadly, still nil, but yet to realize = )
to do list:

* seek for doctor who able to consult on my hair problem
* keep on diet plan, and well self dicipline
* job wise, do it wisely of course, time is running out
* quit sugar, quit beer, quit wine, just noticed that wine and beer have kinda similarity of calories =(

* get myself ML starwalker, lol!
* CHANGE! MY ATTITUDE!

chapter IV plans
* from march onward, benchmark today, change a new ride if do really necessarily, in 6 months time
* purchase a house before year 2014
* find a partner, business partner, or life time partner, hehehe!

anyhow. enough for this round updates, wanna shout this to myself

" YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!! "

-WC-

mortgage- year one-> one year

been in this field for 1yr, i am year 2 rookie now, yipee! =)

flash back*

there was a year ago hired by my ex-bos, who just joined another company, left us behind. is just like HAHA

but, to be frank, without him, i will not be here, and tough

there were ups and downs, joy and sorrow for the year 2011

and the only thing i wanna say, i will keep on survive = )

blessed, steven

hello year 2012

everyone thinks that 2012 will be end of the world, i don't get it, you guys trust this kind of prediction and prophet talks? sorry, not cup of my tea, i just wanna shout it out, i see my year 2012 IS A GOOD YEAR!!!!

i had an unpredictable awful past year, i thought that my heart is quite tough,in fact, i still need peoples out there back me up. Anyhow, the hardest time had already past, i am kinda looking forward to REALIZE my resolutions for year 2012 =)

just notice lotsa of my friends no longer active in for blogs, tweet. most of the multimedia activist switch to facebooker. besides, i am quite active in FB too..lol!

checklist for now
* save money
*slim down
*cari gf
*more plan

=)

fatty

i just uploaded my school time pics, everyone was so shocked. what is actually happened to myself.

i gained 30kgs for the passed 2 years, no joke, 30kgs. i plan N times for slim down, it never happen, ha ha.

bought a set of slim down plan, but never keep on going, mindset problem. always think another way round. too conservative. to fear to accept failure.

fucking hate myself when i was in fitting room testing jean. i couldnt wear these beautiful clothes for this fucking obesity probe.

thin never is my word, but i dont want fat following me forever. kinda down recently, but yet, i am surviving.

no matter how, i must go thru all this, and i BELIEVE!

I-THINK (我 想)

第一次,用中文寫下自己的心情, 感覺還挺特別的, 看來我的中文語病不比英文來得少.

CHAPTER 1.MYLIFE 篇

踏入社會,YEAR 2, 覺得原地自轉, 徘徊再懷疑自身的能力. 永遠被弱點支配, 發覺自己還不成熟, 悲哀

明瞭不狠, 不振, 不變通, 在社會, 等著好像 AMERICA'S GOT TALENT 那樣被當掉.

KIASU?KIASI? 下意識認同這兩個現代化理念. 'kiasi=self protecting, don't get me wrong'

藉口?因人而異吧. 自律,決心, 總是比較少了些. 通病 or 認命?

如果把魔嘼世界的HERO DESCRIBE MY ULTIMATE, 有兩招,逃避和自我矮化.

這不是EMO POST, BUT, 最近的心情寫照. 感慨偽人遠勝偉人. 我, 斗不過現實.

擱筆,

-思題奮-

body weight problem= health problem

went a health centre today, listen to a senior engineer sharing about his success story, health awareness, earn money while you are able to slim down + back in better condition.

my current weight, 95.9KG, ideal weight 63KG = 33KG to go

my current health condition 18, ideal measurement,5= 13 to go

work life health balance, pray eat love, execute my plan soon =)

many many times of tomorrow

i said to myself, this round i aint gonna lose again, but i gave up eventually, i promised myself this will be my last try, but i did it again. for god sake, human like me doesnt deserve for achievement , successful life. always stay in comfort zone, thousand lies and excuses

this time, i wanna write down my -to do list- on my blog, see how many things i can get it done, get it right, get it in the best result in good time frame:

1. today is 7 of July, will make sure this month hit another million higher compare to last month, by all means, another big leap for my job, high but truly achievable.

2. in 3 months time i must make myself real slim down, my recent's weight, 96kgs, yepp, freaking heavy and overweight till the max. target, 3kgs is a must, 5kgs is fine, 8kgs is perfect, i wanna test my own determination.

3.stop waste and get wasted. i wasting my time and money for get wasted. maybe a slow 1, currently visiting pubs and bars 7 days per week. moreover influence my buddy =D =D bad influence, hehehe!

4. rest early, well planning ahead as well.

5. will revise this all again after a month, and review of myself too.

aging

recently start back to blog again, alil bit in love with blogging again. i am the person who loves to record down my feelings and thoughts during my journey of life, but for time being, people will thinks that i am action, in fact, i do think alike what i look alike =D

freaking sad bout my appearance, maybe my friend dont ever realize i was actually mind bout how people look at me, althou hairloss makes me look older,i dint give up for getting it back again, while my beard always grow faster than my hair, hahahhaa! btw, i am really worried bout my body weight, because of the appearance,i had lost all my confident

i believe that, a man like me, only gained those weird attraction, people will only discuss bout my hair, my tummy, my face, none of them discuss bout my inner beauty.i had giving up for this thingy, i swear to god, from now on, i dont need any sympathy but, i will do my best to slim down, and stop the mid-age crisis which approach 20years early. i must be optimist!

best friend

always thought be your best buddy, i can take it when you found you loves1

always overestimate myself able to walk thru the rain whereas you are no longer bother about me

always willing to contribute the unconditional cares and love which i used to gave in

always think that i am really can say hi to you whenever i bumped into you, or msn, fb

i am a coward, when anything that remind me of you, do you know that i fall for you?

Diary

once,i remember i heard this in a movie which i already forgotten the name of this movie, long winded right. my style. lol. erm do u heard this before?

'i come, i see, i conquer' - the great alexander

'i come, i blog, i remember'- steven

so,i decided to write more from now onwards. thanks!

Love drunk

I look alike mid-age uncle right now, no longer sad for my appearance. currently worry about my health, i can't breath well, certainly, soulless movement and lotsa minor minded stuff occurred. i guess, alcohol had eaten up all my brain cells, i not only plans to quit, but quit beer asap. orelse,i might not only die in young age, diseases strike too.

ok.back to topic. love drunk. why love must drunk? do you guys realize that while your friends in love or in the stage of courting and flirting, most of them will self-deception sounds hurt, but i think its true. like wise, most of those couple and lovers, love birds, act like an big baby during those time. people told me this, you will do some which is very extraordinary when u in love in with somebodyelse, you dont even know how to judge black and white, love is color of blind ya.

some times i might thirst for love, but i dont need it afterall, u can call me selfish,but i trust that, till i can be in those unconditional love mode again,i dont mind to be drunk again. at this moment,i wanna be successful 1st, and launch my mayday plan.peeps wish me luck

thanks! =) with <3

25,i am 25

so fast,i am 25 already, yet achieve nothing, always doubt that what is actually happen to me. i really need to move faster! bucked up man!

Social Learning Theory

cunning and fake, we aren't born that way. i cant accept that, you hate the certain person, yet, you force yourself be good to him/her. we called that fake, in fact, we practice this when we are into it,i believe that, only hypocrite able survive.

recently i met a person, which i dislike this people quite...a lot. ya, actually this fella wasnt fake or cunning, just that, dont even take initiative to blend into the human circle. overprotected are the most dangerous weapon if you wanna spoil some1else 's life.

communication. i learnt alot of communication skills back to college time, in the end, social surviving skill are lot important, you cant learn it anywhere, but in society. the fees maybe a lot, or maybe you have to repay something which is very important to you.

today, i know what is social learning theory, to be an ultimate asshole.

Bay Song

It is Not a hatred post, i swear to god, but something negative, fed up d ma. again, you wasting everyone's precious time, and it just like never end story, fuck you for the sake of god, if i am almighty , i will end your life just like that, why? wasting people's time equally a murderer. since our activity involved some many human being, so you are the serial killer. yes you!

i just wanna blab for few things here, just a simple reminder for a so called leader.

shit happened for a reason, don't expect people to whip you ass every time you poo, and you want people clear up for, of course can, but with good manner would you?

time management, time, time is gold, you see my time as go? just like air? you manage your time well, don't you feel guilty while most of the people are there already and waiting for you? must feel shame ma, i don't care whether your are babysitter or sensei, while people ask puncture? ya, on time please!! fuck you, you are the one should fuck by negro, idiot!

i admit, always feel impatient bout your behavior, yalah, i should say sorry to you, i shouldn't expect you might be one of the rising star, but at least, when everyone is de-grading, go-stun liao, lu lagi walk backwards, i thought this shouldn't occur, because you are too weak to down graded!

And the very last request, please don't act like a team leader, nobody listen to you, especially me, i only salute/ respect to those who impressed me, you din't , tell you a norm among peoples who really dislike you, i don't use hate, because hating a people is actually tiring job, you know what norm was that? 'wei, you are aliltle bit better than HIM only" and that was the most sarcastic made for us. LOLX

pls grow up dude!

I met some problems

health problem, financial crisis, confident problem, any solutions?

Plans

I wanna get a job, a very #1 task, I wanna slim down, yet, haven't starts any executions.

There is something up on my mind, i need to do what i should, what i want, planning without action.

Its only plain talk cock nia. wake up!

Friend.

This post is specially dedicate to Yibin, who will leaving on end of this Sept, the date drawing near ade some how.

I don't need a friend who can spend me beer or meal, i need a friend share me beer and nice meal,

I don't need a friend who can fetch me everywhere, but when my car broke down, he can fetch me or help me call for help

I don't need a friend who offer me a job, i just need their sincere advice on my career

I don't need a friend bring my chicks, i prefer a friend bring me know his dude

And luckily, i have many of mine friends able to do so, sounds demanding, i am doing the same way to my friends too,to the my buddies, whole night long chat, i able to offer you guys =)

People told me, when you get older, you will have lesser friends, i should say, you may gain some while you losing some.

One of my best friend, my beer mate, my tea mate, will left Malaysia for U.K in this coming week, i would say, i feel upset and happy at the same time. sad coz might not seeing him for 2 years or maybe if he able to settle down in U.K. then will be very rare chance to meet up ade. Happy for him, because not every1 able to further their study in U.K although its getting common.

Anyway, Yibin, i wish you have the best undertaking in your future, and please come back Malaysia, you know people here do really needs you badly, take care always!

Racist

I hate racist, superbly hate racist. the racist i mean here is not only people who ask Malaysia chinese go back China via AA, as well as chinese who talk alike racist. in fact, if they arent 1, they wont talk alike racist.

Fuck the racist! I damn hate racist, don't la like that, i meet lotsa decent malaysians, since you are 1 of them, why call those racist as barbarian? ya, you may right in some way, think about you, when you sound so vengeful, you already one of them, different team only, you are in minority of gang, this is silly okay!

Ya, i am so idiot because of those few stupid words, but i do really care bout my country, i born as Malaysian, i called myself as overseas chinese, in fact, i still loves my tanah air, i will never forget this phase, "We are the Rakyat". Fuck the inequality in Msia, just do what you can, at least be a voter.

sign off. (with anger still)