Update

Nearly a month never log in to my blogspot, not because of got nothing to post for
just recently,i am really begun to be busy again, mentally and physically. In additional, serious bout my life this time, for the very first time. The reason i drop this post, i was inpired by one of my coursemate, KY,thanks to him, his patient, determination, loyalty makes me feel i am so tiny, and thanks for ur post, ur post convince me that, when you really want her, you must do everything, anything to make her happy, and i have to salute to u for this thoughts.

loyal is not a sin, liking someone else is not a sin, but i am always defeated to myself, my negative minded, my low-self esteem, i am a human have nothing, because of i dont have self-confident. i am not blaming anyone for that, its only myself caused everythgs went wrong. Good for nothing? i always claimed to my fren, i am good for nothing. for all this while, i havnt take my life seriously, how irresponsible i will be??do i realize that??posible for me be more commited?be more obligate??i dont know....

Negative is my name, low-self confident is my bestfren, irresponsible significants me, haha, how pathetic?ya, think so.i dont know how wicked i am when i hate sumbody, i dont know how good i will be if i want to,i dun even know how to express myself in front of you. pls forgive me that i am cowardly avoid to admiting i am fall for you, pls forgive me that i thinks i am not able to cheer u up, pls forgive me when someday, i leaving for not burdening you anymore, but i dare to say,i realli want you.at least in my own blog, HAHA!

Had i try my best to be better person?no, i got a tons of fxxking excuses for myself, to make myself feel better after any mistake i done, but now on, no more, i gotta throw all these away, for you, for myself,orelse, no future.

when i see you, i am really happy and enjoy the moment that u spent with me, at the same time, i am afraid of i will addicted to you, i am afraid that one day u might be not sharing ur time with me again,i admit,i am selfish, i am selfish for you. why i am in PJ for past few years, recently i onli know the answer. y i am still single, cz i believe that u r still with me.

thanks for light up my life again, thanks for encouraging me, thanks for strenghten my spirit to go thru everythg, thanks for making me trust in love again, i am very grateful and thankful to god, i believe, in faith,in fate, in you. no matter how, i will not simply give up anymore, no matter how, i will try all i can to be with you. no matter how, i will change myself for good, change myself for you.

-steven-