Plans

I wanna get a job, a very #1 task, I wanna slim down, yet, haven't starts any executions.

There is something up on my mind, i need to do what i should, what i want, planning without action.

Its only plain talk cock nia. wake up!

Friend.

This post is specially dedicate to Yibin, who will leaving on end of this Sept, the date drawing near ade some how.

I don't need a friend who can spend me beer or meal, i need a friend share me beer and nice meal,

I don't need a friend who can fetch me everywhere, but when my car broke down, he can fetch me or help me call for help

I don't need a friend who offer me a job, i just need their sincere advice on my career

I don't need a friend bring my chicks, i prefer a friend bring me know his dude

And luckily, i have many of mine friends able to do so, sounds demanding, i am doing the same way to my friends too,to the my buddies, whole night long chat, i able to offer you guys =)

People told me, when you get older, you will have lesser friends, i should say, you may gain some while you losing some.

One of my best friend, my beer mate, my tea mate, will left Malaysia for U.K in this coming week, i would say, i feel upset and happy at the same time. sad coz might not seeing him for 2 years or maybe if he able to settle down in U.K. then will be very rare chance to meet up ade. Happy for him, because not every1 able to further their study in U.K although its getting common.

Anyway, Yibin, i wish you have the best undertaking in your future, and please come back Malaysia, you know people here do really needs you badly, take care always!

Racist

I hate racist, superbly hate racist. the racist i mean here is not only people who ask Malaysia chinese go back China via AA, as well as chinese who talk alike racist. in fact, if they arent 1, they wont talk alike racist.

Fuck the racist! I damn hate racist, don't la like that, i meet lotsa decent malaysians, since you are 1 of them, why call those racist as barbarian? ya, you may right in some way, think about you, when you sound so vengeful, you already one of them, different team only, you are in minority of gang, this is silly okay!

Ya, i am so idiot because of those few stupid words, but i do really care bout my country, i born as Malaysian, i called myself as overseas chinese, in fact, i still loves my tanah air, i will never forget this phase, "We are the Rakyat". Fuck the inequality in Msia, just do what you can, at least be a voter.

sign off. (with anger still)

It is not the ending i wish to see

I heard this phrase many times, don't know since when, push a button, is not really that difficult, its depend on who you are, what you are.

It is So beautiful while you begun a new relationship, and you couldn't imagine how ugly will it be "when Loves comes to the end"

"It is not the ending wish to see" i believe that, job hunt is just similiar with your human relationship, "this is not i want" what i often tell my friend, excuse? nope, i haven't met the right one, will you be with someone else for simply lonely? maybe yes maybe not. the best is not for me lah.

I am still looking for the right one, wish me luck!

Signed off
-Steven-

Calculative

i used to be very generous, and kind to everyone, i mean, most of my friends, even strangers, i just figured it out, my blood turns into cold and colder. At least, i don't simply do charity, or treats everyone the same way.

When you gets older, you might see things differently, the thing which i mean here is, the dark side of human. One of the most unbearable human's ugly behavior for me is, Selfish. i know, it is kinda ridiculous if asking your friend treat you equally, some people claims they don't judge friend, but the way they did to you, it reflected the status in his mind, and i call this people as talker. this type of people talk well, you wanna seek help from them, save the breath for yourself, and maybe the trouble lesser than waiting the assist.

Being calculative wasn't a sin, you had have so many best friends, so it is impossible to be decent to every of them, and i guess, you rate your friend via what potential they have. when you spend a penny on your friend, you are hoping to get it back 100times from what u have invested. impressive, you are greater than Buffett, even Steve Jobs offer you a job.

Too try to be a man, don't you always fooling people stays around you, doncha you think this is so unfair to them? when people be nice to you, remember, dont take in for granted, unconditional contribution normally bring you bigger tragedy, be consideration a bit, there is no free lunch in this world, even fresh air, you need to pay for it.

-END-

My life Journal

My English getting worst and rotten nowadays, writing and speaking, feel worried bout it. have to brush up my language through post more blog, in fact, its kinda wrong too, because nobody will know what mistake they had made, human doesn't self evaluate that often, and this is a fact!

My grammar are sucks, yet, i have no solution on it, aih, let it be lah! anyway, this blog is not blog about my language, 2 days ago, i had made up my mind, i decide to give a try, and test myself, so i gotta brush up my english before i take this challenge, before the journey starts again....

Thank god, i dint delete my present blog, which i had an intention to do so, after read back some of my posts, i able to trace myself, where i am now, and whether i am improving or still stepping on the same spot? reluctant, i am walking backwards actually, i shall remind myself via this Life journal.

Finally, buck up man! A man who live without dreams and career, not qualify as a Real Man! i wanna be something more than i turn into something, sounds catchy aye? have a lil brainstorm bout it lah peeps, again, Adios!

-steven-

Racist

Pakatan Rakyat ( people's collision) took over 4 states in Semenanjung during General Election march of 8th, so here we are, Malaysian, finally the government recognize 16sept as Malaysia's days, sounds weird, but in fact, i prefer this meaningful day compared with so called independent day.

contributions from belated almarhum Tunku Abdul Rahman cannot be erase, i only able to know a little bit of him from some article, even is just a simple piece of his life, and some quote from Malaysia's independent father, but his love towards his nation, his RAKYAT was endless. Tunku never say, kerana melayu, sebab itu tanah air ini namanya, Malaysia. if today, he is still alive, he might die instantly because of today's Bumi's

today, i am not blog about politic, but i have these kind of saddening feel during Malaysia day, why still tons of politic leaders torn apart between races in order to be the ruilling party? suddenly,i miss Yasmin Ahmad alot, i miss her, not because of she produce good PSA, but , she taught us, how to be more COLORBLIND. dont be so hatred, peeps, i do have some malay friends who respect chinese and other races, and i have some chinese friends who are very racist, please aware this, ARE, meaning they are still.

i am doubt about some parents, told them children this way " dont talk to them, they are idiot than chinese..." ya. right, you look alot more pighead when you told this to your children, i believe only 1 thing, human being are not born to be racist, they had being influence, blind folded, if i were god, how i wish to turn all the racists into blind, so that they wont that racist? does it works? i doubt.

GTG,
-Steven-

Doutbful

Blogging Mood knocking on the door, Bloggaroll! yeah, 2nd post of the day, since 2 months ago, havent log on my blog, i should write it more, its just a journal of my life, feelings and thoughts of life, twisted comment as well, haha!

about Iphone, facebook, LV Burberry and Clubber cultures, currently is like tornado, overwhelmingly growth everywhere,i mean, usage, level of popular, getting higher, and the range of user group age become more varieties, from 13 to 65 yr old, really hardly to follow the trend ade (refer to facebook, and branded diseases)

i doubtful bout 2 things, why have some certain kind of human keeping show off with their Facebook, like so grateful with her/his current life, worship with god la, bla bla bla. i know. loving your life wasnt a sin, but when you telling how blissful you are, please think of people who live around you, some of them might very unlucky.

"i wanna buy pair of new heels, i hate "vincy", too ordinary and CHEAP!" "i wanna shop shop shop!" " i wanna go honeymoon at Malibu~" " in L.A now, i Love L.A " think bout it, when you kap siao kap pi that time, u might hurted ur friend, and if you able to spend for that much, do it for charity, sounds good aye? my philosophy very simple only, i prefer every1 is happy, better than i happy alone

OK, stop ranting, haha, its not a hatred blog, jz some weird thought of mine, and i doubt did LV and Burberry lifts u up, do facebook really bring you real friends? show off makes u looks beautiful, the others uglier than you?i say nolo, to those hypocrite, dont tell the whole world you are so damn gay with ur life now, ppl feel sick, me either. GTG

signed 0ff
-steven-

life, you will never know until you realize its gone

In my life, i often met this type of homosapien, "i heard from A, we shouldn't do this action", "according to friend of mine, the place is quite nice", "they said and they say..." i noticed this type of human, they arent those who without opinion, but they prefer convert their own opinion, to the "others", when ppl disagree with them, they just push away, it wasnt me! duh!

i am struggle over few issues bout myself, have no result still, always proscastinating, self deceit , excuses, bla bla bla.....keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, i can figure it, i can fix it, end up-nothing! i am so lost, until i lost myself,i dont even know what am i doing recently, buck up buck up!

ok, pls bear with me bout tis, i really heard from 1 of my friend, "let say u have only 6hour left for ur life, what will you do?" i really cant tell, and i dont even know what i should put in the 1st place, what comes after, meaning, its still long way for me to go, i had wasted my life for nearly half years, no joke, precisely, 4months. i gain nothing besides of body weight.

-Life, you will never know WHAT YOU HAD MISSINg, until you realize its gone- i missed a dream, i missed myself, i missing the sense of belonging, and the taste of victory, no life satisfactory for this 120days, how sad?! life is only 1 way ticket, and if i have chance, i will answer my friend for the previous question he gave me, "i gotta woke up from this long day dream, and bucked up, earn back what i suppose to have at my age, what is my future plans."

with you question, i generate another silly thought, "think bout what had u done in your life, if you only left 6hrs on this world?"

signed off,
-steven-