fatty

i just uploaded my school time pics, everyone was so shocked. what is actually happened to myself.

i gained 30kgs for the passed 2 years, no joke, 30kgs. i plan N times for slim down, it never happen, ha ha.

bought a set of slim down plan, but never keep on going, mindset problem. always think another way round. too conservative. to fear to accept failure.

fucking hate myself when i was in fitting room testing jean. i couldnt wear these beautiful clothes for this fucking obesity probe.

thin never is my word, but i dont want fat following me forever. kinda down recently, but yet, i am surviving.

no matter how, i must go thru all this, and i BELIEVE!

I-THINK (我 想)

第一次,用中文寫下自己的心情, 感覺還挺特別的, 看來我的中文語病不比英文來得少.

CHAPTER 1.MYLIFE 篇

踏入社會,YEAR 2, 覺得原地自轉, 徘徊再懷疑自身的能力. 永遠被弱點支配, 發覺自己還不成熟, 悲哀

明瞭不狠, 不振, 不變通, 在社會, 等著好像 AMERICA'S GOT TALENT 那樣被當掉.

KIASU?KIASI? 下意識認同這兩個現代化理念. 'kiasi=self protecting, don't get me wrong'

藉口?因人而異吧. 自律,決心, 總是比較少了些. 通病 or 認命?

如果把魔嘼世界的HERO DESCRIBE MY ULTIMATE, 有兩招,逃避和自我矮化.

這不是EMO POST, BUT, 最近的心情寫照. 感慨偽人遠勝偉人. 我, 斗不過現實.

擱筆,

-思題奮-

body weight problem= health problem

went a health centre today, listen to a senior engineer sharing about his success story, health awareness, earn money while you are able to slim down + back in better condition.

my current weight, 95.9KG, ideal weight 63KG = 33KG to go

my current health condition 18, ideal measurement,5= 13 to go

work life health balance, pray eat love, execute my plan soon =)

many many times of tomorrow

i said to myself, this round i aint gonna lose again, but i gave up eventually, i promised myself this will be my last try, but i did it again. for god sake, human like me doesnt deserve for achievement , successful life. always stay in comfort zone, thousand lies and excuses

this time, i wanna write down my -to do list- on my blog, see how many things i can get it done, get it right, get it in the best result in good time frame:

1. today is 7 of July, will make sure this month hit another million higher compare to last month, by all means, another big leap for my job, high but truly achievable.

2. in 3 months time i must make myself real slim down, my recent's weight, 96kgs, yepp, freaking heavy and overweight till the max. target, 3kgs is a must, 5kgs is fine, 8kgs is perfect, i wanna test my own determination.

3.stop waste and get wasted. i wasting my time and money for get wasted. maybe a slow 1, currently visiting pubs and bars 7 days per week. moreover influence my buddy =D =D bad influence, hehehe!

4. rest early, well planning ahead as well.

5. will revise this all again after a month, and review of myself too.

aging

recently start back to blog again, alil bit in love with blogging again. i am the person who loves to record down my feelings and thoughts during my journey of life, but for time being, people will thinks that i am action, in fact, i do think alike what i look alike =D

freaking sad bout my appearance, maybe my friend dont ever realize i was actually mind bout how people look at me, althou hairloss makes me look older,i dint give up for getting it back again, while my beard always grow faster than my hair, hahahhaa! btw, i am really worried bout my body weight, because of the appearance,i had lost all my confident

i believe that, a man like me, only gained those weird attraction, people will only discuss bout my hair, my tummy, my face, none of them discuss bout my inner beauty.i had giving up for this thingy, i swear to god, from now on, i dont need any sympathy but, i will do my best to slim down, and stop the mid-age crisis which approach 20years early. i must be optimist!

best friend

always thought be your best buddy, i can take it when you found you loves1

always overestimate myself able to walk thru the rain whereas you are no longer bother about me

always willing to contribute the unconditional cares and love which i used to gave in

always think that i am really can say hi to you whenever i bumped into you, or msn, fb

i am a coward, when anything that remind me of you, do you know that i fall for you?

Diary

once,i remember i heard this in a movie which i already forgotten the name of this movie, long winded right. my style. lol. erm do u heard this before?

'i come, i see, i conquer' - the great alexander

'i come, i blog, i remember'- steven

so,i decided to write more from now onwards. thanks!

Love drunk

I look alike mid-age uncle right now, no longer sad for my appearance. currently worry about my health, i can't breath well, certainly, soulless movement and lotsa minor minded stuff occurred. i guess, alcohol had eaten up all my brain cells, i not only plans to quit, but quit beer asap. orelse,i might not only die in young age, diseases strike too.

ok.back to topic. love drunk. why love must drunk? do you guys realize that while your friends in love or in the stage of courting and flirting, most of them will self-deception sounds hurt, but i think its true. like wise, most of those couple and lovers, love birds, act like an big baby during those time. people told me this, you will do some which is very extraordinary when u in love in with somebodyelse, you dont even know how to judge black and white, love is color of blind ya.

some times i might thirst for love, but i dont need it afterall, u can call me selfish,but i trust that, till i can be in those unconditional love mode again,i dont mind to be drunk again. at this moment,i wanna be successful 1st, and launch my mayday plan.peeps wish me luck

thanks! =) with <3

25,i am 25

so fast,i am 25 already, yet achieve nothing, always doubt that what is actually happen to me. i really need to move faster! bucked up man!

Social Learning Theory

cunning and fake, we aren't born that way. i cant accept that, you hate the certain person, yet, you force yourself be good to him/her. we called that fake, in fact, we practice this when we are into it,i believe that, only hypocrite able survive.

recently i met a person, which i dislike this people quite...a lot. ya, actually this fella wasnt fake or cunning, just that, dont even take initiative to blend into the human circle. overprotected are the most dangerous weapon if you wanna spoil some1else 's life.

communication. i learnt alot of communication skills back to college time, in the end, social surviving skill are lot important, you cant learn it anywhere, but in society. the fees maybe a lot, or maybe you have to repay something which is very important to you.

today, i know what is social learning theory, to be an ultimate asshole.